In today’s blog I am sharing a few random musings that have been drumming through my head over the past week. They are partially inspired by thoughts that I was having at various points during and after my recent work trip to Dubai, UAE. As I took in the sights and sounds of this vibrant city rising out of the desert, I found myself grappling with a multitude of things.
Sometimes when I can’t sleep at night, I lie awake pondering about life. My mind is so full of thoughts it feels as if one day they will overflow and spill out of my head onto the floor before me. The myriad of unspoken ideas and dreams would flow out in all directions, like a tsunami engulfing everything around me until I can see nothing else. Only a mass of raw potential waiting to be manifested.
Sometimes I wish, for a second, that I hadn’t met her. Then I wouldn’t have to feel this kind of way. Like I’m stuck outside in the cold and I can’t go home to where I belong, to where my heart resides. Why did I take the red pill? I ask myself countless times. It would have been easier if I didn’t know she existed. Before she turned my world upside down irrevocably. Instead, all I’m left with is absence and separation welling up from an abyss inside of me. Yet deep down I know that no matter what happens, I must stay the course which destiny has flung me down.
Sometimes as I walk through a large crowd of people I think about how we are all connected forever by that one moment in time and space. At precisely that fleeting second in our lives we were all walking, running, standing, sitting, eating, drinking, and breathing in the same place. We are all bonded, despite not interacting or even being aware of every living being around us. Like passing ships in the dark, we just slip past each other, anonymously droning on though our disparate lives. Yet as invisible as we are to each other, we share a common thread that has brought us there. Is it random or predestined? And what happens differently in that moment and space in parallel universes?
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by everything I have on my plate. Especially from the weight of my dreams for the future. They are a burden that I lug around with me everywhere I go like a heavy shadow stalking my every move and thought. Yet at the same time they comfort me, helping me get through the difficult times. Urging me forward like a war cry in battle. I press on, giving no quarter to doubt and fear. For without progessing towards my precious dreams, my raison d’etre, I realize I cannot live. Everything loses it meaning.
As always thanks for stopping by my blog and please feel free to leave a comment below if this post has triggered you. Also, if you would like to receive more updates about my writing kindly consider joining my newsletter mailing list by subscribing below.